"what are you - a mercenary? no ... i'm an accountant"

currently listening to :

nerina pallot fires

and so follows the continuation of 'weird weekends in the life of sarah'

hmmmm. who knows what i did in a previous life. it couldn't have been awful because i don't have cars falling on my head or anything, but i think i went and pissed somebody off because these little niggly weird-ooooo things occur. i wish to take this opportunity to whichever powerful entity i peeved off (because he/she/it will obviously be privvy to constant internet access) and i ask that my life from here on out be easy sailing. thank you.

so the first thing i need to get off my chest is - do i have a face that says 'hello stranger that i have never ever seen in my entire life, yes! please tell me a truly depressing story for about half an hour! because i do indeed care!' ? because i dont. care, that is. sounds AWFUL, i know, but in context, it's getting ridiculous! a while ago, a woman came into our store (hmmmm.... i'm starting to see a link between work and weird days.... damn the fact that i need money to buy things that i actually really don't need!) and said (literally, this is all she said), "geez! sometimes you have to work with such idiots!" and i was like, 'you're telling me, sister!" (no, not really, but it's something i would have said if i said things like, 'sister') and then she came back about 3 months later and said , "excuse me Sarah (!! i do NOT wear a namebadge!) but thank you for your advice (!!) a few weeks ago. i appreciate all you told me to do. and i just wanted to let you know that you need to be careful (conspiratorial whisper) because people talk and everyone needs to be careful of what they say about others. i thank you. so much." yes. ahem i wish i knew what i did.

on saturday a woman came to buy a book (for that is what book stores sell - side gripe - i HATE it when people come into the store and say 'hi! i'm looking for a book' ... great start, tonto! have a pick from our million or odd options) and tom and i were singing our hearts out to the beatles and she looked at us disdainfully and said 'there is no such thing as love in this world' ... so tom and i said, 'that's ridiculous. there's love everywhere!' and she launched into this tale about how her mother stole her last two friends on earth - how her mother had never complimented her in her entire life and her main purpose in life is to destroy her daughter's happiness ... for about 20 minutes. Thomas, the BUGGER, ran away and left me alone to deal with it. i felt so terrible for this woman, but for some reason i couldn't help but feel like i was going to burst into laughter - the last laughing attack i had was during an easter vigil mass ... the nuns all glared at me. so there i was, biting the inside of my lips to keep myself from giggling, tears streaming out of my eyes because of the effort, when tom decided to send guillaume (the lovely manager from the restuarant next door) to save me. only, gui stood behind this woman, canning himself silly (later he told me he was going to say 'excuse me, but where can i find the tale of humpty dumpty?' which undoubtedly would have KILLED me) eventually the phone rang and the woman sighed and said 'you'd better get that i suppose. but nobody will be phoning me. i am now facing a 3 day weekend with absolutely nobody. i have no one' and i felt terrible. i can't imagine an empty life. so i would like to thank all my friends. and i would also like to implore to anyone reading this - booksellers are not psychologists. go book a hair appointment.

then yesterday (yay public holidays!) i was reading the newspaper and sneering at how stupid i think jacob zuma is, when this man appeared at the counter and said - we need to get rid of him. and i said yes. and he said we need to do it now. and i said oh, are you a mercenary? and he lowered his voice yet another conspiratorial whisper and said no, but i am an accountant and i love peace...you love peace too, right? riiiiiiight. he then placed his finger on his lips and walked away. and i wonder - have i just agreed to do something? i'm confused.

the man-who-gave-me-the-cd- last-week, came into our store 4 times yesterday. each time he came in, looked at the magazines. each time, i'm afraid to say, i ran away and hid in the back office kitchentte, and each time, he strode out of the store only to return 10 minutes later. i made my brother (my 6 ft 5 triathlon winning brother) come fetch me. sigh. the curse of a scaredy cat.

it's been real, cyber people